Grace, over at d’Verse poets, challenged us to write Jisei, Japanese death poems
These are my attempts (shrug)
outside the window
dove calls to feathered mourners
my eyes slowly close
————–
my journey over
rocky trail to the peak
heaven waits
————–
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I like the thought of how life is a path over rocky trail
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Thanks. It certainly can be at times.
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No need to shrug – these are very good attempts. I’ve noticed you have a preference for the brief forms and Japanese forms, so you’re an expert at conveying or suggesting a lot with just a few words.
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Thanks for these encouraging words! Some days you write and shrug. Other days you write and cheer.
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I like the acceptance of death as alluded to this line: dove calls to feathered mourners
These short forms are quite tricky, smiles ~ Thanks for joining us at D’verse ~
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Thanks for the encouragement.
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Both lovely, no need to shrug. 🙂
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Thanks so much! Some days you write and shrug.
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Very nicely done …
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Thanks
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🙂
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Candy of a rose still blooming..
Mountain peaks distance
still climbing..:)
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Yes, still climbing. Thanks for commenting.
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Both are very good but the second truly resonates with me. Lovely and delicate poems, gentle. I like these very much. Thanks for joining us over here at d’Verse!
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Thanks so much!
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I like the dove calling the others to mourn. You should stand by your words! I challenge you to delete the shrug ^_^
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Thanks for the encouragement. Some days you just feel like shrugging. 😉
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So true! Take care
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No shrugging necessary…these are very good. I like the last line of the first one where the eyes slowly close. Gives a feeling of a very peaceful passing. The second one reflects on a life of perhaps hardship over rocky terrain and then heaven is waiting. I really enjoyed both of these…well done!
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Thanks so much for your kind words.
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These are so gentle. That is how I hope it will be.
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Thanks. Don’t we all.
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Such beautiful Jisei!
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Thanks so much
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these are lovely. Life is merely a journey to a much grander destination 🙂
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Thanks!
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These are beautiful. Gentle and accepting.
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Thank you so much!
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