At d’Verse Poets, Mish has us singing our own tune,
Lost In Dreams
I follow the path
laid out for me
eyes wide open
but heart clenched tight
and when the sun goes down
I get lost in dreams
I spend each day
as others see fit
like a mannequin
no thoughts or feelings
and when the sun goes down
I get lost in dreams
I speak in words
that are not mine
opinions muted
until the day ends
and when the sun goes down
I get lost in dreams
I’m lost in dreams of you
lost in dreams of you
~~
d’Verse Poetics – The Music in You
A very poignant ending with:
I’m lost in dreams of you
lost in dreams of you
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Ahh, neat surprise ending.
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I can feel the sadness and pain relieved by the dreams of night. The repetition of “lost in dreams” works well for song lyrics. A powerful piece as a poem or a song. 🙂
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thanks Mish! You gave us a great prompt.
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like the way your repeated lines are subtly varied at the end. Gives an extra bit of strength to this poem.
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This is a wonderful use of repetions.. That little variation worked so very well… And coming up to a heartbreaking crescendo.
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Candy, The image of the mannequin and the muted opinions speak unspoken volumes. Daunting lines that leave your reader with more questions than answers, which is a hallmark of great poetry! I appreciate your talent 🙂
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thank you so much!
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A nearly perfect rendering of the prompt, for sure; as stated, works well for poem or song. It has a ballad vibe for me, female singer; Joan Baez.
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thanks! I Used to want to be Joan 😉
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A lovely love song.
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thank you!
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Breathtakingly beautiful..!!
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thank you!
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love the refrain…and when the sun goes down, I get lost in dreams………
I’m late to the reading on these but oh how I’m wishing I could hear lots of these sung! 🙂
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Thanks …. and I’m with you, would love to hear these set to music. Now i wish I’d kept up my music lessons.
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Lovely – with lots of longing – great, Moskowitz
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thank you !
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Funny.. how work..
CNN.. school..
and almost
any other
mechanical
cognition activity
can take uS out of Love..
Creativity.. and even anxiety..
and sadness too.. but those
other pArts i Cherish iN aLL
thE dArk and liGht theY
comE noW..
as trUly
DArk noW
can be an even
greater motivating
Force for liGht oF aRt..
a Silver LiNinG.. i suppose..
when processing Loss..
oF anY
tyPe noW..:)
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A silver lining to light the darkness – how wonderful!
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