d’Verse Poets – Meeting the Bar
Victoria has us getting in shape for summer with an Etheree
I’m counting from 1 to 10 and back again
~
you
want to
drive to the
ocean with the
throng and the clamor
where the sand burns my feet
so I have to wear sandals
and the sun turns my skin scarlet
so I sit in the shade, covered up
in a shirt and hat, wearing dark glasses
take me instead to the cool green mountains
where a stream trickles over smooth rocks
and birds sing to me from the trees
where I can follow a trail
and search for wildflowers
to weave through my hair
then in the dark
I can count
stars and
dream
search for wildflowers
to weave through my hair
then in the dark
I can count
stars and
dream
Love these lines π breathtaking work done.
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Thanks π
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Oooooo. LOVE “the throng and the clamor,” especially.
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I would have a hard time choosing between the beach and mountains. I lived at the beach and now in the Sierra Nevada–each has its beauty. Nice descriptions.
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Nice one. I like how you utilized the form to suit your subject matter. The mounting tension when you describe the “throng and clamor” and the heat of the beach, and then, at the halfway mark, how you switch to describing the “cool green mountains” and, slowly, the tension releases, and the poem trickles to a close like the “stream… over cool rocks.” It’s like taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling.
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Resonating with you in the counting of stars in the dark. That last line lingers in the heart long after the poem is read. π
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Thanks so much
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Love that ending, Candy!
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Thanksπ
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So very clever!
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I’m not a fan of beaches either… unless I can walk barefoot along the shore of a deserted beach… wonderful sentiments.
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I agree with the deserted beach
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It was the mountains for me as well, as I’m sure it is with Bjorn, but in the last 25 years I have learned to appreciate the air, the negative ions, the pounding surf, & driftwood of the sea–my photography reflects it as well. Your use of the form is impressive, & message is clarion.
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Thanks. It’s the crowds I’m opposed to really.
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Describing where I’m at perfectly.
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I like your journey and destination, Candy. And it’s going to take more than an etheree to get me in shape for summer. They don’t make poems as big as I need! π
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Beats jogging π
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How curious: I chose an Etheree for my #frapalymo poem today :-). Yours is better though π http://beehalton.com/2016/05/english-frapalymo-poem-on-20may16.html
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It’s a fun form
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it is indeed!
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Nicely put and my sentiments exactly. I do not care to fry on a beach. Of course, I live near a beach and mountains are hundreds of miles away for me. Such is life!
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The (beach) sun is unkind to me too so far better a cool walk at dusk. However I do find the countryside more enchanting more beautiful. That said the sea draws me in with its wanderlust…
Anna :o]
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Ah.. wE hUmans..
soMe do bEach..
somE mounTain..
soMe foRest..
somE noW
sUnshine..
Some raiN..
cLoUds hEar
eYes Different
Reins uPon
hUman
tAMe
oR WiLd..:)
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We find common ground in our poetry π
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Yes..
Hope
It
spreads..:)
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I’m persuaded! π I like the way you use the word ‘mountains’ in the form as a turning point.
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